Lavender Walk

“Five more sleeps to go, five more sleeps till Santa. Five more sleeps till the big fat fella comes down your chimney and drinks your beer, five more sleeps till Santa.” Not to mention, stands on your cat and sets fire to your Christmas tree. OK, we won’t mention that.

Christmas comes but once a year, and bloody good thing too. It’s crept up on me like the presence of an old flatulent dog, and with just a few days to go I’ve done diddly squat. No Christmas cake being administered with brandy, no Christmas Club money to collect having been sequestered all year, and worst of all, no clue as to what to get anyone.

Where to start?

Books are always good, and bookshops are one of my favourite places. These days bookshops sell much more than books, so if your clan is literarily or musically inclined, or likes electronic and other games, stationery, or just kinda cool gadgets, a bookshop is a good destination. If you can’t get out, try the world’s leading online bookshop, Amazon.

If the love of your life is a bit of a geek, USB gifts and gadgets are a fun idea. There is an amazing array of stuff that can be attached to your PC, other than your teenage son, of course.

There are great lists of gifts for women, from the one I would like – a slanket (yes indeed, even though the name reminds me of a slinky, which is the skin of a dead lamb) – to some I may not crack a smile at (elephant poo in a box, which is probably only marginally better than elephant poo on my shoe).

If the man in your life is the adventurous type, he might like something from this selection of gifts for men. Clay pigeon shooting, driving couches and other wacky cars, or gourmet cooking lessons, there’s sure to be something he’ll love, that won’t injure him and might benefit you too.

And of course, don’t forget the kids. As if they’d let you. Want a change from built-to-crap-out-before-New-Year, plastic-fantastic, form-over-substance junk? Take a look at these Christmas presents for kids.

So, don’t panic. Don’t despair. There is help. Just down a couple of large G&Ts, charge up the credit card, and hit the internet.

Tags: Christmas presents for children, Christmas shopping, gifts for children, gifts for Christmas, gifts for her, gifts for him, gifts for kids, gifts for men, gifts for women, USB gadgets, USB gifts

Asian to-be newly-weds are trying something different to spruce up their weddings.

Couples from Singapore and Taiwan are travelling to New Zealand for a wedding photo shoot. The photos are then presented at the wedding to provide an unusual feature.

A lack of distinctive locations, lower air fares, and the influence of Lord of the Rings have contributed to an 80% increase in couples travelling to New Zealand. For many of them, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and they are keen to spare no expense to make it perfect.

Popular locations are the Bay of Islands, Lake Taupo, Lake Tekapo and Queenstown.

Couples can spend anywhere from NZ$20,000 (£8,800), choosing to stay in good hotels and hire rental vehicles to travel and look around. Around 40% of this is spent on the fees and air fares for the couple’s photographer and stylist.

Of course, there are extremely good photographers and stylists in New Zealand also.

Aoraki Mt Cook

Tags: Asian newly-weds, New Zealand scenery, wedding photos

As the rain buckets down on the 6th day of New Zealand summer, I sit and reflect mournfully on the sorry state of our cricket.

We have just lost the second test against a less than awe inspiring Pakistan lineup, who we restricted to 264 and 239 in their two innings. Not a huge mountain to ascend, one would think, until one realises that NZ made just 99 runs in their first innings. Oh dear.

Kiwis are dogged battlers, and we have occasionally pulled off miracles, so when Vettori et al went after a total of 405 in the last innings, with more than two days left to bat, it looked remotely possible. If only the top order could occupy their crease and achieve reasonable totals. Just one 100, three or four 50s, and a few more in double figures. But above all, to stay there and bat out. We might have done it. There was nothing in the pitch, a batsman’s paradise, the commentators were saying.

But no. The opening partnership was broken in the second over with four runs on the board. The other opener survived 12 more overs. Number 3 gone just two overs later. Three of our four (allegedly) best batsmen gone in less than 20 overs, for less than 50 runs. Ross Taylor played a patient innings until he began to run out of recognised partners, then a stray shot had him caught on 97. Frustrating for Taylor, disaster for New Zealand.

Yes, we almost got one 100. And there was one 40, which is nearly 50, but this was by the number 8 (Vettori). And not a lot else. Mostly what were we lacking was partnerships. There was only one in excess of 50 (the 6th wicket). Three over 30, and one of those was the 9th wicket. The opening three partnerships netted only 37 runs. Our 3rd wicket (which should have been our best two batsmen) contributed one run. I feel like tearing my hair.

So the question is – do we have enough batsmen to make up a top order? Sadly, I think the answer is no. The best partnership was between Ross Taylor (number 4) and Brendon McCullum (number 7). Our second-top scorer was Vettori, who batted at 8. And there really isn’t anyone else worth mentioning. That leaves five empty batting spaces (given that our four best bowlers, who did a good job, include Vettori, and there may be a case for Elliot, as he can bowl a bit). But I’m afraid Messers McIntosh, Guptil, Flynn, and Fulton probably need to brush up their CVs. Because they sure ain’t doing the job as top order batsmen.

Daniel Vettori was quoted as saying yesterday, when NZ was three down after one session and had 330 or so runs to chase, “It’s going to be difficult. We are under no illusions that it’s a long way but we just have to believe.”

No Dan, I’m afraid that’s not enough. That might work for the Disney Corporation, but for international top order batsmen, they actually have to be able to bat.

Postscript: to add insult to injury, it began to rain just minutes after the fall of the final NZ wicket, and has continued to rain since. If tomorrow is rainy, we may have been able to burgle a draw, if only someone had stayed in.

Tags: cricket, New Zealand

There is a trend towards people working at least partly from home. It saves on commuter time and cost, and with broadband and the internet, it’s easy to stay in touch. But if you have a home office, you might have noticed an increase in your electricity bill. Are you following good practice with your office equipment?

A typical home office might have the following:
* Desktop computer comprising CPU and monitor, plus keyboard and mouse, maybe speakers
* Laptop(s)
* Printer
* Fax machine
* Telephone(s)

Computers
Back in the old days of mainframes, it was better to leave the central processing unit on all the time, as the thermal cycling at start-up was a common cause of disk failure. That’s no longer the case, and it’s not necessary to leave your CPU on constantly. Switching it off when it’s not in use, particularly overnight, saves electricity and also protects your equipment from electrical surges.

Likewise monitors should be switched off when not in use. Screen savers do save screens, but not electricity. Flying windows use up about as much power as word processing.

If you use a CPU as a server, you will need to leave it on while any of your satellite units (laptops etc) are operating. But maybe it’s a good night-time routine to shut down all the laptops, turn off the server monitor, and put the CPU to bed.

Printers and Fax machines
Laser printers use about a third of their power supply when on standby. So for a printer capable of printing 8 pages per minutes, you could save about 100 watts an hour.

The fax machine may need to stay on to receive, so if you have a combination printer/fax/copier, you may not want to switch it off. If you receive faxes electronically, you’ll also need to leave the CPU on, though the monitor can still go off.

Telephones
Cordless phones use electricity all the time. About 60% of a cordless phone’s energy usage is while it’s in standby mode. A corded phone uses just a trickle, and that comes from the phone line. If you want the convenience of a cordless phone, consider having just one, and using corded phones in other areas.

Tags: computers, cordless phones, fax machines, office equipment, printers

Imagine reclining in comfort, having your hair washed in warm water, your scalp massaged, and gazing up at a wall of soft, green mosses and epiphytes. Perhaps listening to a little piped tui song, or better yet, being in earshot of a nearby open courtyard where the tuis and other native birds gather to sip nectar and banter their beautiful sounds at each other in raucous abandon.

In this day and age of concern over diminishing natural spaces, an article in today’s paper gives me real hope. What a wonderful idea it would be to incorporate nature into our indoor spaces, or indeed, integrate indoor and outdoor spaces. Perhaps this is just further human interference in the natural order of things, or maybe it’s a way that we as a species can enhance our lives without destroying the natural environment.

Tags: green walls, growing walls

One of the most influential inventions of the human technological age is undoubtedly the telephone. But the phone is only a part of the wider sphere of communication technology.

Historically, the government has provided the phone systems as part of the national infrastructure. These government departments were eventually privatised into the monoliths of today’s telecommunications world – in New Zealand, Telecom, in the UK, British Telecom, or BT.

Not only did these companies provide and manage the infrastructure of the telephone system, they also got into the business of providing the telephone instruments. When telephones were still relatively expensive, the national provider would rent out phones to residential customers. This sometimes went on unnoticed for a good length of time. My partner discovered he had been renting a Telecom home phone for about eight years. He could have bought a very nice mobile phone for what he had paid. There might still be some BT home phones lurking out there, adding a small but significant amount to your monthly phone bill.

But the telecommunications landscape is changing. Obviously traditional, fixed line telephone systems are here to stay for a while yet, because anything where there is significant investment by business doesn’t get replaced overnight. But telecoms means much more than just telephones these days, as is obvious when you look at what the telcos get involved in. The mobile phone revolution has taken phones away from a set physical location and the advent of texting must be a bit like printing money for the telcos.

But of course, the big change in communication technology is the internet. This puts the concept of ‘phone’ into sharp relief, because a phone is just a handset – it’s the technology behind it that’s interesting. The telephone system is now much more than a technological extension of the piece of string between two tin cans. Now the handset or the computer (is this just another type of handset?) can broadcast to sites like Twitter and other bulletin boards. Everyone can commentate on what they’re doing right now and what they’re thinking. Communication is much more one-way – I’ll put out there what I’m doing and thinking, and you come along at your convenience and read up about it. Not so much conversation as a bunch of monologues with everyone talking and no-one listening.

We can spice up our pearls of wisdom (hey, what am I doing, but putting a whole lot of opinions ‘out there’, with no real care as to whether anyone reads them or not?) with bright images and streaming video, which of course increases our need for bandwidth, hence the forward movement in broadband technology (SDSL internet etc).

So, it is a changing world we live in. The way we interact is changing. We call it communication technology, but if I recall correctly, communication is a two-way thing. Maybe we should call it broadcast technology.

Tags: BT, BT home phones, SDSL internet, telecoms, telephone system

I have neglected you, my poor dear readers. You’ve had to struggle on personfully (not gender-biased here, oh no) without the benefit of my wisdom and insightful comments for three weeks.

But I’m back. And chuckling about an article that dares to poke the borax at New Zealand’s best loved institution – the All Blacks! How dare they? Well, they do dare, and good on them.

Since Graham Henry and co. took over the All Blacks in 2004, it seems to me they have drawn towards the soccer model of ‘prima donna’, ‘touch me and I fall down in agony’, rather than the traditional rugby union model of ‘gritty bloke in a black singlet, tough as old boots, plays in a stinging southerly (cold in NZ) with two dislocated shoulders and then heads out to the back blocks of the farm with a roll of no. 8 wire ready to get up to his elbows in birthing lambs’. Argh, those days be gone (OK, not sure where the ‘talk like a pirate’ vernacular crept in from).

Nowadays, the All Blacks LOSE! And they don’t seem to CARE! That never happened before. When they lost in the past, it was after epic battles against monumental sides whose forwards had tree trunks for legs and whose backs could give Usain Bolt a run for his money. The country went into mourning, players hung their heads in shame, and the media flayed the management alive.

Today, the ‘teflon trio’, as described in the charming article in today’s paper, smile and talk weasel words about team bonding and the like, while faffing about trying to figure out how to coach, impart knowledge, and somehow enable the team to play well and win. The latest move is that they will all swop out of their ‘expert’ roles and do each other’s jobs.

Hmm, not sure how that will improve things.

Tags: All Blacks, rugby union

Air New Zealand Fashion week (second half).

Photos courtesy Air New Zealand Fashion Week/Michael Ng.

Tags: Air New Zealand Fashion Week, fashion

Fashion is certainly centre stage in New Zealand this week.

As well as the prestigious Fashion Week (more pictures from that later), we also have the Montana World of Wearable Art, an unashamed expression of the incredible.

Here are some pictures…

Lady of the Wood: Supreme Winner

Queen Adelaide: Winner, Sustainability Award

Tidal Traveller: Commended, South Pacific Section

Wanderer: Runner Up, Illumination Illusion Section

Tags: fashion, Montana, World of Wearable Art

Just staying with South America:

Here is a beautiful piece of writing by Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, one of the most influential poets of the last century. Translated from his native Spanish, the phrasing and the ideas are delicate, aching, yet never stray into sentimentality. How I wish I could appreciate it in its native form and experience the subtleties. But this English version is still highly enjoyable and quite simply, beautiful.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, ‘The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

by Pablo Neruda
translated by W.S. Merwin

Tags: Pablo Neruda, poetry